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In the days following Atmananda's talk, I longed to know if my vision
of the "snow" had been a mystical experience, an optical illusion,
or a figment of my imagination. Graduation was only weeks away.
I assumed that Atmananda would help me solve the mystery, and I counted
the days until his next public lecture.
I did not tell my friends much about Atmananda. They seemed content,
even after reading the Castaneda books, to view the world through a
rational framework. In contrast, I grew excited about the possibility
of transcending the world of reason altogether. They were proud
of their letters of acceptance from the Harvards and the Princetons.
I was proud of my letter of acceptance from The School Of Mysticism.
My letter arrived in the form of brilliant white specks which swirled
about me like snow.
Nor did I tell my parents, who represented discord, anxiety,
and manipulation--the opposite of what Atmananda seemed to stand for.
Instead, I spoke with my brother. He and I were close.
I wanted to be just like him. He used words such as disciples,
selfless-service, humanity, humility, purity, soul, soul-mate,
past-lives, karma, fast track, and cosmic evolution. He got
excited when he talked about Atmananda. He told me that he too
had experienced perceptual distortion during Atmananda's talks.
We returned to "Yoga Life Perfection."